He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
