Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
