Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
