Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
