i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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