I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
