I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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