Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is Oprah even human
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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