Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
