when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
