She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
