its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
