I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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