So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
