There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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