i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
