so that wasnt chicken after all
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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