I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
