Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize