I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
