Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
