I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
