We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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