im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
