it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
