now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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