i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
