i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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