I'm gonna have a badass scar
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
