doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
