I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
