Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
