i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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