I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
