Your dad touched me again.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
