This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
