that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
