I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
