My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
