There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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