...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
