I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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