stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
