Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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