I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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