East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
