when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
