Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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