just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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