I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
